Really started liking her.
Today they officially started dating and I have to find something else to do while he’s with her. THEY’RE BOTH ATTRACTIVE AS FUCK TOO WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I saw it coming and the weird thing is…. I actually don’t mind as much as I thought I would.
We’re back at school - sophomore year… and everything is amazing. Meeting new people, lots of fun welcoming week activites, and yes, I am still madly in love with my roommate. Luckily for me, he’s missed me a LOT this summer and had been extra affectionate - so much hugging, cuddling, etc. Even in public… he seems to ALWAYS have his arm around me as if to say “hey everyone, this is my best friend”. He’s more comfortable with showing affection in public than I am and it’s weird. I’m the one who’s secretely in love. Last night I was really tired and he came and snuggled with me until I was almost asleep. He tucked me in (jokingly) and turned off my lights and I went to bed with the biggest smile on my face. This morning he heard me shut off my alarm at 8:00am and by 8:02 he had already come in my room for some morning cuddling. Nothing makes me happier to know that he wants to be close to me, especially when he initiates it. I just wrapped my arm around his body and layed my head on his *ahem… big, strong* chest. I can’t even tell you guys how many “I love you’s” we’ve exchanged so far and how much we just sit there and talk about how much we enjoy each other’s company.
He took me out to eat at this nice Italian place in his hometown last night for my birthday dinner. He kept on saying things like, “hahaha I bet the waitress thinks we’re gay together.” hmm.
Anyways, THE CONCERT. The concert last night was absolutely magical. Seeing my favorite band (in the second row!!!), sing my favorite songs, and being there with the person I love more than anything. I can’t even tell you guys how fast my heart started beating when there was confetti all over the place and he put his arm around my shoulder, and he told me over the loud music that I was his best friend and he loved me. He did that a few times actually. I swear I did not stop smiling for about 10 minutes. I drove us back to his house and we layed in bed reminiscing about the whole night, and about our friendship and how a year ago we hardly even knew eachother other than the couple of facebook chats we had. Everything was perfect. I am not one to exaggerate… but it was literally the best night of my entire life.
The best night of my entire life.
He’s taking me out for my birthday dinner tomorrow before the Coldplay concert. That’s like, officially a date right? Either way, I’m falling in love with him more and more each day. But the best part of tomorrow will be cuddling up in his bed after dinner, and after the concert, and falling asleep in his arms where I’m the happiest. <3
Because that’s what best friends are for.
“Hey bud, just kinda thinking of you today. I was listening to “Some Nights” by Fun AND just thought of you like… the entire time. Hope you’re enjoying the rest of your time back. But just thinking of you bud. Love ya, talk to you later. Bye.”
HE CALLS JUST BECAUSE HE’S THINKING OF ME NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT.
One time he called me after I got out of class to tell me that he loved me. Seriously… someone help me stop falling for this boy I’m going to explode. Also, I’m probably going to be posting a lot less on here about our more personal, intimate moments… because I kinda like that stuff just being between us. This is just where I let out my feels.
But sometimes you make me really mad.
You’re hot-headed, and have a tendency to over-react. Like that time you told me that you wanted to “crack my fucking skull”. I have never heard something that abusive come from you before. That just wasn’t you. I will never forget that. (Although, my favorite part about us is that our arguments NEVER last long. We argue, then get over whatever the hell it was. At least by the morning. I love that.)
Also, even though you’ve only done it a few times - you’ve lied to me. And it was never about anything serious… but the fact that you have lied in the past forces me to question some of the things you say or tell me in the future and I hate that. Like, you lied to me about not fingering Rachelle, which was a meaningless encounter and i almost hate you for that. You finger fucked her at least twice and I had to find out from other people. That sucked to find out from someone else. The funny part is… you judge people who do the same things you do constantly, which brings me to my next point.
You’re also very judgemental. You don’t need to talk about people behind their backs so much. Why do you care who had sex with who and who cheated on who??? Who cares who smokes, drinks, sleeps around, etc.??? “Oh my God… can you believe Ashlee smokes weed?” Nigga, who cares!? I could honestly care less what other people do. We don’t do those things. We don’t associate with half of the people you constantly feel the need to talk about. It is really none of my concern. We all have flaws. In fact… I’m pointing most of yours out right now.
I also wish you weren’t so cocky.
But aside from all of this… I really am truly in love with you. You are an incredibly sweet and affectionate guy who always knows the right thing to say. When we’re together, I am in moments of bliss. You cooked me dinner tonight. It wasn’t much… but it was sweet. We cuddled and watched TV last night and I fell asleep on your chest. We cuddled today, and i just stared into your eyes. And I’m in love with you for reasons aside from the physical. You are smart, your morals are straight (even though you went and fingered that sleezy bitch and lied about it), and you are just an easy person to fall for. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish there were some things about you that were a bit different.
On top of me, with your arms wrapped around my body.
I wrapped my arms around you too.
Your hair smelled good so I buried my face in it.
You began to snore, but I didn’t mind.
You were warm, and there was something comforting about the rise and fall of your body on me as you breathed.
You’re a lot bigger than I am, but i wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable.
Being surrounded by you is the only place I’ll ever want to be.